I’ve made it to the next muscle and just wanted to drop in with a little nugget from this chapter. If you’re just stopping by I’m reviewing Lisa Nicholas book No Matter What!: 9 Steps to Living the Life You Love. In Lisa’s book she offers of 9 bounce back muscles which give you the ability to successfully navigate life’s speed bumps. The third muscle is developing your take action muscle. Getting away from complaining and moaning, really focusing on the solution. Knowing that action is the antidote to despair, and the prescription for success. (Be sure to check out my previous post)
So lets get into this “where I am currently” moment. If I’m honest, and if you’ve been with me on this blog for a while you know this is my struggle area. I’m not complaining but I do feel stuck. I’m not necessarily on the nail but I am playing with it every once in a while. I have a career that pays me very well but its not what “love”. I don’t feel like this is “my purpose”. But I am very comfortable. The bills are paid, there is money left over for my shopping habit and to take a couple vacations a year. But the nail is still there. I know I am not alone here. The comfort of familiarity can be so alluring; even if it is not the best. I see countless people droning through their mundane lives, hanging on to their comfortable misery and blocking the thrill of new and unrealized but available successes.
In the book Lisa tells a story about a howling dog.
There was a young man walking down the street and happened to see an old man and his wife sitting on his porch. Between them was their dog, who was whining and whimpering. The young man asked the old lady“What’s wrong with your dog” The old lady replied“He’s laying on a nail”. The young man asked “Laying on a nail?, Well why doesn’t he get up?” The old lady then replied “It’s not hurting him bad enough.” -Les Brown, Live Your Dreams Buy here
I guess a lot of us are like that old dog. We moan and groan about our situation, but don’t do anything. How bad does the pain have to get before we get up and do something else? If we are in a negative environment, one that causes us pain and anguish, maybe it’s time to take a fresh look at ourselves, define where we want to be, and develop a clear plan of action for getting there. Or maybe you’re like me and aren’t exactly laying on the nail but know the nail is there.
So think about something in your life that you want to change or a goal you want to accomplish. Now lets chat about some steps to take for change and achieving a goal.
First, let’s talk about self-discipline: the initial obstacle in not converting a desired change into a goal.
Time management and persistence are two types of fuel for cultivating self-discipline. If you waste time and allow yourself to get distracted in progressing toward your desired goal, you welcome unsuccessful habits instead of successful ones and instill those bad habits in your every day life. You change your methods and sustain your perseverance by willfully and efficiently focusing your thoughts and energy on the goal at hand.
For me, the distraction is Candy Crush. Lawwwd!!! I love Candy Crush!!!!
I can honestly play it for hours! But I had to put my phone down so that I can focus on this blog. These post aren’t going to write themselves and the design sure won’t get better on its own either. I’ve read some many articles on starting a blog and watched so many YouTube videos. None of which could have happened if I stayed stuck doing something that truly offers me no long term benefit or pushes me no closer to my goal.
We have to DECIDE whether to demonstrate excellent or mediocre behavior. Are you going to have a successful or an average life? If you choose excellence, you have to fight mediocrity and commit yourself to excellence. Sometimes, being aware of what you don’t want in life makes your self-discipline sustainable over the long haul. Read my Self Awareness blog if you need help in that area.
Second, let’s talk about low self-efficacy, which is another obstacle in converting your desired change into a goal.
Self-efficacy is the strength of your belief in your ability to achieve goals. In its negative form, it is a dark, hidden, normalizing behavioral pattern of giving up on your desired goals before you even start.
The beliefs that you have about your abilities shape your entire life. If you have low self-efficacy, you don’t believe that you can achieve your dreams, and you have probably led yourself to live a humdrum life instead of realizing your full potential.
I recently read The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships
Where Esther Hicks mentions that a belief is only a thought that we continue to think. If you have a belief that you want to change, then change the thoughts that you have. And say them over and over and over until you finally believe them!
People with high self-efficacy go toe to toe with challenging tasks as things they can master. People with low self-efficacy run to avoid challenges and rarely commit to anything never the less their life goals. They are reluctant to take the necessary actions toward a desired change. They don’t believe that change is even possible, so they give up before they even start. They go round and round the goal with their eyes fixated on the ground without even looking up to all that could be, high above them.
The antidote for low self-efficacy is to identify the dis-empowering self-limiting belief that keeps you far away from a desired outcome.
Forbes gives us a committed action plan that successful people practice weekly:
- Identify a clear reason for a desired goal.
- See this desired outcome as a positive change.
- Develop a routine of self-discipline, very consciously focusing on progressing toward your desired goal and not regressing.
- Use time management; prioritize your goal progression daily by staying persistent in choosing your desired outcome again and again.
- Increase your self-efficacy by:
- Recognizing that it is your limiting beliefs that are slowing you down and impeding your progress toward your desired goals.
- Replacing your limiting beliefs with a new, powerful belief.
- Assess the clarity of your plan to achieve a desired action, and write down the action plan with specifics and completion dates.
- Commit to your daily action plan progression by setting morning intentions with priorities to achieve the action steps and evening reflections analyzing the completion steps.
- Find a partner to share your daily goal’s progress with.
8 . Reward yourself weekly for staying on track. (did someone say shopping!!!?)
- Repeat items 1-8.
Now that we have the secret routine of successful people. We can now use our Take Action Muscle.
It’s up to us to let our desired outcomes shine and infuse our lives with actions. Remember, in order to win, you need to start and progress daily in life! No race was ever won without a beginning.
In the comments tell me somethings you’ve been procrastinating on. Or things that you had to over come and the tips you have for overcoming those obstacles. I’m going on vacation next week but I still plan to post while I’m away. (cross-fingers) Until then..be kind to yourself!